she looked like the before picture.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
