We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he thought i was a dude.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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