I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That's intense
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
