Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
