Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How external is "for external use only"?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
