Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
