you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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