those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
