I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
