butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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