So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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