I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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