i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You ruined the universe
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
