I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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