This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she peed on how many people?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
