TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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