best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
