Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
