I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
