Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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