Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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