alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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