Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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