finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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