dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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