I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
