hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
