i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
