and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
