I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
