Can i not drive my cunt home
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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