YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
