check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
40s are totally the cure
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
