I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
