What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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