dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
