OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
