I don't usually arrange sex via text message
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
soo... how was my night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
