I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
