Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
