I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
this is an emotional support booty call
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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