Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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