Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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