Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
