i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
