i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
