I swear god or herbie drove my car home
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
