I think I died a long time ago.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
