my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
