she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
